An English Psychic In Hollywood

Written by Lucinda Clare

Like other babies, I dutifully woke up my parents in the middle of the night, except I didn’t cry - the noise that woke them up was . .. laughter. My mother’s use of the expression ‘She’s off with the fairies’ took on a whole new meaning as she watched me listening to silence and gurgling to no one.

By the time I was five, I was still different.  only had one friend: Piglet, my guinea pig. She looked like a small version of Dougal from The Magic Roundabout, all hair and heart, and I loved her completely. One day Piglet’s little furry body stopped moving. She was dead. That was what Mummy said.

‘What’s dead?’

‘Well, darling, Piglet has gone to sleep for ever and ever.’

‘She’ll never wake up?’

Mummy shook her head.

‘So I’ll never see her again?’

‘No. She’s gone to heaven. We have to say goodbye to Piglet now.’

And we did. Or at least I tried to. Because she was tiny, we buried her in a very small home: my old crayon box. I marked the spot with buttercups and tried to imagine Piglet in heaven, but I couldn’t. I could still feel her around me. When I told my parents, they exchanged the same worried looks they’d worn on the disastrous cheese confirmation day. What was wrong with grown-ups? No wonder they all wore glasses. They couldn’t see properly...

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For generations, every Clare baby was fed a crumb of cheese and for generations every Clare baby had spat it out. Family cheers accompanied the splendid projectile vomit. And then it was my turn.

The family gathered around. My mother picked up a yellow crumb and the cheese approached the christening bonnet, but instead of the familiar rejection ... it disappeared. My grandmother searched in the folds of my christening dress; the family imagined my mother must have dropped it. Another morsel was fed to me. This time there was a loud gulp. Then a stunned silence. Tremors of shock went through my parents and the onlooking relatives, cheese-haters all. I was a cheese-eater! An outcast!

And cheese was only the beginning.

I come from a long line of cheese-haters. For generations the Clare family loathed cheese. One of those eccentric English things. As perplexing as morris dancing. We even had a cheese confirmation day. Confirmation that we were one with our clan.

“The Spiritual Jackie Collins - I couldn’t put it down!”

Chrissy Iley - Journalist



Immensely enjoyable. The author combines fun and witty observations on the Hollywood lifestyle with truly touching stories from the lives of her clients as a psychic. All while looking for love herself. It's Bridget Jones meets Entourage meets Medium - but far classier. Hugely readable.

Dan Wicksman - Writer

A Fabulous Must-Read!!

This book is a gem: wonderfully absorbing, funny and deeply moving at the same time. Lucinda Clare not only has a rare talent with words that respects the reader's intelligence, but she writes with such a great sense of humor and self-honesty that you find yourself caring deeply about the heroine. Whether or not you live in Hollywood, love it or hate it, you will be hugely entertained by the hilarious and touching encounters with real-life characters (from deranged movie stars to extraordinary "ordinary" people). This book made me feel aglow and hopeful - I can't recommend it enough!